Simplified turducken

1 3-8 kg turkey
2 boneless skinless duck breasts
2 boneless skinless chicken breasts
2 boneless skinless chicken thighs
1 package butterball frozen stuffing, thawed, and five slices of bread, cubed small
1 carrot
1 celery stalk
1 large onion, quartered
1 tbsp butter
1 cup water or beer
2-4 bamboo skewers
Meat thermometer

Set oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit.

In a mixing bowl, break apart stuffing and toss with bread cubes. Place in refrigerator.

Lay a wet dish cloth flat on the counter and place a large cutting board on top to hold your cutting board stationary. Place the turkey breast-down on the cutting board with the tail facing you. Starting at the neck, slice the skin to the bone all the way to the tail. Peel the skin back a bit so you can see what you are doing and slowly cut the meat from the bone, separating the joints where the wing drum connects to the breast and the thigh connects to the hip. Don’t worry if you are making a hash of it; just try not to poke holes in the skin. You can trim off any meat that was left behind after you get the carcass separated.


This is a chicken, I was making non-simplified turducken and deboned all three birds.

Toss the turkey carcass and the giblets in an ovenproof pot and place it in the oven to brown.

Lay the turkey skin-side down on the cutting board. Tuck any trimmings from the carcass and season with salt and pepper. Spread ½ of the stuffing evenly over the turkey.

 

Butterfly the duck breasts and lay them flat on top of the stuffing and season with salt and pepper. Spread ¼ of the stuffing evenly over the duck breasts.

 

Place the chicken breasts side by side (above where the turkey breasts are buried) and a thigh on either side of the breasts and season with salt and pepper. Spread the remaining stuffing evenly over the chicken.



This next part is easier if you have help, but can be accomplished alone with a little swearing. It is probably easier if you use a needle and butcher’s twine but I can’t remember to buy them.

Firmly grab the skin and pull the sides of the turkey together. If you have help, have them stick their hands under the turkey and help lift and hold the two sides together. If you’re going it alone, get both sides of the skin pinched together in one hand. Use the other hand to poke the skewer through both sides of skin. Bend the skewer back and stick it through both sides of the skin in the other direction. You can use as many skewers as it takes to get the two sides to stay together. The bird gets flipped over in the next step and nobody can see if you make a mess out of it.


 
Gently turn the bird over and place it in a roasting pan with the vegetables and the water or beer. Rub the butter over the turkey skin and season with salt and pepper. Stand back and admire your work, then stab it through the heart with the meat thermometer.



Take the turkey carcass out of the oven and put the turducken in the oven, covered. Turn the oven down to 325 F. Use the carcass to make stock (fill the pot with water, add a bay leaf, some peppercorns, some thyme and boil it for about an hour).

The cook time for a turducken is approximately the same as a stuffed turkey because bones take longer to cook. Plan on it taking four hours minimum. The turducken is cooked when the thermometer reads 165 F.

 

If the turducken boils dry (you will here the pan sizzling), add a ladle of stock and return to the oven. When the turducken is within 20 degrees of 165, remove the lid and let the skin brown. When the turkducken is within 5 degrees of 165, remove from oven and let rest for 10 minutes. Transfer the turducken to a serving tray and use the drippings and the stock to make gravy.