Adventures in plumbing

It's plumbing week on Chappell Street. In this unaired and conceivably finite home renovation series, we're tackling the last remaining vestiges of cast iron plumbing and putting in a new toilet.

As with everything in this temporary WWII house, the existing plumbing was poorly executed, crudely modified and deteriorated with age.

Ridding the house of its cast iron stacks is part of the larger downstairs bathroom renovation, which in turn is part of the larger downstairs renovation, which is encased in the larger renovation/rebuild of the exterior in 2012. It's like Russian dolls, but each one is a smaller Pandora's box that opens with the words "while we're at it."

In the duo that is us, one of us is incredibly handy. It's not me. I am best at ensuring everyone is fed, watered, and if necessary, libated. I am also good at holding the ends of things, carrying things, carrying one end of heavy things, unskilled labour, and retrieving well-described items from building supply stores. A smart phone helps significantly with this last task. Pictures do say a 1,000 words. On rare occasion, my geometry knowledge proves useful, but mostly I am an all purpose flunky. A sawhorse with hands, feet, car keys, a debit card and a compulsion to ensure everyone is hydrated and full.

And sometimes I have gaps in logic. 

After successfully retrieving ABS connectors and a toilet from Home Depot (because, while we're at it, let's get rid of the remaining water-pig toilet), I was draining the water from the old upstairs toilet. There was a bunch of gritty sediment at the bottom of the tank and the cloth I was using to sop up the water was getting very dirty, so I started to rinse it in the sink. This was rapidly followed by intense screaming from downstairs.  

I shut off the taps and ran, envisioning Shawn pinned beneath heavy cast iron. As I hit the top of the stairs I recalled how less than an hour ago I held the upstairs stack still as he cut through that thick metal pipe, then opened the door for him as he took it outside.

As I said, gaps.

On the upside, the flood provided some comic relief in a day of frustration and filth (poop goes through those pipes). The handy one of us was still laughing an hour later.

Thankfully, I was able to redeem myself later in the day. While applying ABS adhesive in the basement, the dabber slipped out of Shawn's hand and fell out of reach at the bottom of a 45 coupler, a foot down from the closest opening in the stack. Repeated retrieval efforts with coat hanger wire were unsuccessful. We couldn't leave it there. It was a waste inhibiting fluff ball of crazy glue attached to a metal stick. We also didn't want to undo what Shawn already put together. I told him I had an idea. I attached some fridge magnets to a string and fed it down the stack. The metal stem of the dabber stuck to the magnets and I was able to pull it back up to where Shawn could grab it through the hole.

This is not to say things have gone smoothly since then. I just put a fresh Band-aid over a small chunk of missing skin on Shawn's finger. He had to wait till I mopped up a tiny bit of blood and got more Band-aids from upstairs after accidentally impaling the side of my foot with a spade bit. Don't worry, I know first aid, we have a first-aid kit, and our tetanus shots are up to date.

Also don't worry because we've been at this for years. We're seasoned, experienced, and one of us is very handy.

Not Alone and Not of this World

I watched the Catholic Votes' parody Not Alone today. The video mimics the "It Gets Better" video series. The It Gets Better Project was founded by gay activist Dan Savage and his husband in response to the suicides of teens who were bullied for being gay or suspected of being gay. The goal of the It Gets Better Project is to prevent suicide among gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth.

Actually I watched Not Alone at least half a dozen times times. You're welcome for the views, Catholic Votes! Every hit counts. I suspect I'm, pardon the pun, not alone in multiple viewings. As I write this, the video has been viewed 1,330,214 times.



It starts off well enough, there's gender balance, visible minorities, nervousness, evident secrets. At 0:53, the absurdity starts. Watery-eyed, hesitant, Minority Female confesses that she's tried to change, but it's just too important. White Female says "I actually think marriage is between a man and a woman." Latino Minority Male reiterates his same belief.

That's right, Catholic Votes took a video series created to prevent gay teens from killing themselves and made it about their belief that gays shouldn't be allowed to marry. It took me two viewings to realize it wasn't satire. I wasn't sure if should feel impressed by their sheer audacity (or ignorance of irony) or revolted by their callousness. I settled on ignorance and callousness.

African Minority Male says "I already have an idea of what marriage should be. That will never change." I too have an idea of what marriage should be: brief and unrepeated, but that's my view on marriage for my own self; and that is open to change.

There were four cases before the U.S. Supreme Court that delivered the decision legalized same-sex marriage. In three cases, parents needed the legal rights marriage confers to be guardians of their own children. In the fourth, Obergfeld wanted to be named as husband on the death certificate of his partner of 21 years, and whom he legally married in another state.

Marriage may start out with a ceremony and pledges of love and devotion, but it is a legal contract bestowing protections, rights, and responsibilities, including children, property, taxation, health, retirement, inheritance, and death. These couples wanted parental rights to their children, they wanted the right to have their life together recorded in death. They wanted the same rights afforded to every other legally married couple.

In the Opinion of the Court, Justice Kennedy wrote "No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions.  They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law."

After explicitly stating their marriage beliefs, the people of Not Alone go on to express the discomfort that arises from expressing an increasingly unpopular opinion. They simply wish to speak openly about denying the same marital rights they enjoy to same-sex couples and not be judged for it. The first part is guaranteed under freedom of speech. The second part is guaranteed to have the opposite effect under freedom of speech. Everyone has an automatic right to hold and express an opinion on any side of an argument. No one has an automatic right to be liked because or in spite of their argument.

When the argument is  denying same-sex couples the right to marry, Kennedy wrote, "it is appropriate to observe these cases involve only the rights of two consenting adults whose marriages would pose no risk of harm to themselves or third parties."

No one is denying the people in this video of their right to believe and to say marriage is between a man and a woman. No one is denying them the right to appropriate an instrument to prevent suicide amongst LGBT youth to discriminate against LGBT people. No one is denying them the right to cry publicly about two consenting adults entering into a contract that does no harm to themselves or to others.

Everyone has a right to their own reaction and response. No matter how well crafted the video or how heartfelt the message expressed, even with "gay friends"(FYI, friends don't wish away friends' parental rights and spousal next-of-kin status), media is not a message sent-message accepted medium. This video is no doubt raising support and funds for Catholic Votes from its supporters, but with or without intent, it is receiving the attention of a majority that thinks differently.

Regardless of intent, whether fundraising, understanding, or support through perceived martyrdom by fictitious persecution (the denial of the right to discriminate against others is not persecution), it is likely only to resonate with an existing base and invites a Pandora's box of commentary, parody, and more parody.

When I was a kid I remember people being openly racist and it being acceptable. Those conversations wouldn't happen today, because beliefs do change over time. I may hold the Not Alone video in disdain and contempt, but in keeping with sunlight is the best disinfectant, I want their argument heard, because what can be reasonable among a group of people that think similarly, can become an obtuse, callous, and inhumane parody when exposed to the light of day of a broader audience.