My dear good friend. It has been three long days since I responded to your email and I still have not heard from you about our business deal. Not even so much as an auto reply saying you are away. It has me feeling a little sad. And lonely.
I have since reread my previous email to you, Mrike, can I call you
Mrike? I may have handled a couple things more professionally.
You will notice I addressed you by your full name, not a generic salutation. I've heard of some people, hurtful meanspirited people, who buy email lists and send everyone on the list the exact same message! And even worse, it is fraudulent! Lie upon lie upon lie. It's simply terrible, Mrike.
But that's not me! My words are only for you. ONLY YOU, MRIKE! ONLY YOU. The way you used all-caps to shout the brilliance of this deal was masterful. I felt an immediate connection. It was like we bonded through the magic of words in the world (wide web). *hugs*
I may have also been a bit forward with my request for a photo of you naked at work. Some people are shy, I get that. A naked picture of your wife at your desk will do. Or your husband, which ever way you roll is A okay with me, Mrike. The no shoe-rule still stands obviously.
The funds still have to be in Canadian one dollar bills, but I don't want your hands to be too tired to respond to all of my emails, so you can take breaks while ironing. I'm good with the delay.
I trust this email will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt the sincerity of my intentions, intentions that echo yours, and I await your response with bated breath.
Breathy, bated breaths.
To recap: naked photo taken at your desk. It can be you, your wife or your husband. A good looking sibling would also do, if different from the aforementioned spouse. It's okay if they are the same person. Who am I to judge? No shoes!!!! I can't stress that enough. NO SHOES. Funds in Canadian one dollar bills. Ironed, but take your time.
Best best regards my dear good friend,
From your very best dear good friend.
PS, PHOTO MUST BE 300 DPI!!! NONE OF THAT 72 DPI CRAP THAT GETS FUZZY WHEN YOU ZOOM IN ON THE GOOD BITS!!!!!
PPS, I CAN'T FIND YOU ON FACEBOOK!! ADD ME SO WE CAN BE FACEBOOK BFFS!!!!
You will notice I addressed you by your full name, not a generic salutation. I've heard of some people, hurtful meanspirited people, who buy email lists and send everyone on the list the exact same message! And even worse, it is fraudulent! Lie upon lie upon lie. It's simply terrible, Mrike.
But that's not me! My words are only for you. ONLY YOU, MRIKE! ONLY YOU. The way you used all-caps to shout the brilliance of this deal was masterful. I felt an immediate connection. It was like we bonded through the magic of words in the world (wide web). *hugs*
I may have also been a bit forward with my request for a photo of you naked at work. Some people are shy, I get that. A naked picture of your wife at your desk will do. Or your husband, which ever way you roll is A okay with me, Mrike. The no shoe-rule still stands obviously.
The funds still have to be in Canadian one dollar bills, but I don't want your hands to be too tired to respond to all of my emails, so you can take breaks while ironing. I'm good with the delay.
I trust this email will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt the sincerity of my intentions, intentions that echo yours, and I await your response with bated breath.
Breathy, bated breaths.
To recap: naked photo taken at your desk. It can be you, your wife or your husband. A good looking sibling would also do, if different from the aforementioned spouse. It's okay if they are the same person. Who am I to judge? No shoes!!!! I can't stress that enough. NO SHOES. Funds in Canadian one dollar bills. Ironed, but take your time.
Best best regards my dear good friend,
From your very best dear good friend.
PS, PHOTO MUST BE 300 DPI!!! NONE OF THAT 72 DPI CRAP THAT GETS FUZZY WHEN YOU ZOOM IN ON THE GOOD BITS!!!!!
PPS, I CAN'T FIND YOU ON FACEBOOK!! ADD ME SO WE CAN BE FACEBOOK BFFS!!!!
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