Bikinis and Niqabs

I remember the first time I encountered topless sunbathing. It was my first trip to Cuba and my first trip outside Canada. The start was a little rocky. We were in the air for an extra hour with heavy turbulence from a huge electrical storm.  Cuban airports 10 years ago were a lot less friendly than they are now. There were men and women in military uniforms everywhere. I did not expect to walk across tarmac, nor for the airport to be that tiny. I did not expect customs people to be so unfriendly and I certainly did not expect all the AK47s they were sporting.

I didn't expect, but was thrilled by the $1 beer vendors once I cleared customs. That more $1 beers were available on the air-conditioned bus to the resort was even better.

Getting to the resort and being told they had no record of us and to go away was definitely unexpected. It was at this point I felt really far from home. Shawn sent me to the bar to have a drink while he argued our right to be there. We had a backup plan: VISA, but I was still inwardly freaking out. For some reason being in a communist country was suddenly ridiculously scary and on repeat in my head.

When I saw a family friend I had known as long as I could remember, walk towards the bar I decided I had lost my shit all together. Then I saw him join his wife. Turns out I travelled 3,000 kilometres to be reunited with friends from my hometown. Their daughter was on our flight, I just didn't see her on the plane. If the backup plan failed, we had a third option. Crash with the neighbours for the night.

Shawn got us a room and for the next two days we evaded being thrown off the resort, which happened twice a day with shift changes. On the third day, we got it all sorted out and were most welcome guests for the rest of our stay.

I learned what Cuba-time meant, it's about half an hour past what the clock says, and that self-tanner lasts approximately three hours at a swim-up bar. I learned that Cubans who have nothing seem far better adjusted (and better looking) than Canadians who have everything. I learned I loved to watch the staff greet one another, because they were so affectionate.

I learned that the other-side-of-the-pond women prefer topless sunbathing. All sizes, all ages, all boobs. It was eye opening. I'm pretty sure they damned near popped out of my head. I adjusted, and by the end of the week I was able to hold down genuine conversations with topless ladies.

Now I consider wearing a bikini a bold and daring enterprise, and that's just buying the damned thing. Florescent change-room lights are no woman's friend. On that first trip, I didn't even consider bringing a bikini. Till I got down there and realized everyone else was wearing a bikini or less. Then I really wanted a bikini, but I never considered going topless.

I thought it was fantastic that all of these women felt comfortable being topless in front of crowds of strangers, just like men do. It made me realize how covered up our culture is. At an all-ages resort with more European guests than Canadian, the top wearers were the minority and bare boobs at the pool and beach were totally normal.

I still had zero desire to join them. It is not how I was raised. Which brings me to the current blow up over Zunera Ishaq wanting to wear a niqab during the citizenship ceremony with her identity confirmed in private, making her enemy number one of Stephen Harper and his election platform of jihadi terrorism.

I will admit, I have seen few niqabs in my lifetime. Each time I do the feminist in me recoils. The atheist damned near strokes out. I want every woman to feel comfortable and safe out in the world in whatever they choose to wear. I want every woman to be comfortable and safe out in the world in whatever they choose to wear. To that end, I think the Europeans are light years ahead of us in terms of our modesty here in North America.

I don't like the niqab. I don't like any segment of society that makes a woman hide or alter her appearance from the world, whether it be for faith or for safety or for societal norm. My own society included, see breast implants, rhinoplasty, liposuction.

For all my rocky start on that first trip to Cuba, if someone demanded I take my top off to belong there, that would have been the icing on the cake.  I don't know Ishaq's motivation for wanting to be veiled at the ceremony. Is it faith? Is it modesty? Is it coercion? What it really is, is none of my business.

What is my business, because this is my country and I have a vote, is ensuring we provide a safe and welcoming environment to immigrants so they can become a part of our society and our culture. So their children can become a part of our society and our culture.

So we stop creating culture ghettos.

If Ishaq wants to wear a veil and verify her identity in private, let her do that. I fail to see how forcing her to expose herself in a way she is obviously not comfortable with is making her a Canadian. I fail to see how that makes the rest of us better Canadians.

We are the true north strong and free. We are the friendly fucking Canadians. We are a people whose rights to freedom of expression and freedom of religion are enshrined in law.

If anyone thinks forcing a woman to show her face is going to turn the tides of terrorism and religious extremism, they need to go back to daycare and take another crack at life. Start with colonialism and decades of failed foreign policy. Wars of dubious and/or commercial origins. The consequences of believing democracy will flourish in the dictatorship vacuum of an impoverished, unequal, and largely illiterate society.

Learn about all major world religions as an outside observer. Especially your own. Nature evolves, society evolves, law evolves with it. Religion on the other hand, appears to be the evolutionary equivalent of a coelacanth, with sufficient interpretive qualities to justify anything and everything. The fundamentalist imam is a human rights nightmare, but so is Pat Robertson.  

If we want people to stop blowing themselves up to get to heaven, perhaps we should take a look and see if they are living in hell. If they are, there's a place to start.

This is not an apology for any behavior. Heinous acts are heinous acts, whether it's strapping on a suicide bomb or funding and arming an extremist group to fight a cold war enemy and ruin a country. Humanity has nothing to be gained by vilifying an entire people for the actions of some. It is an action in which both west and east are indulging with abandon.

We have one planet. We all have to live on it. We could all do with a lot less hate, a lot less faith, a whole lot less greed, and a whole lot more equality, justice, science, literature, history, and above all else, agronomy so we can feed everyone and fucking tolerance so we can stop killing one another.