So for 3,000 views, here is easily-entertained me replying to spam.
Attention: HR manager, who may or may not be Diaiqnneqe Afiiello,
My dear good friend. I was most excited to hear your rapidly growing, yet unnamed company is expanding into Canada by hiring one administrative assistant. You can colour me happy, because I'm your Canadian expansion and I'm starting right now!
Note the use of the letter "u" in "colour". That is the correct
spelling. Once my employment contract is signed, I expect everyone the
company to convert to Canadian English in all correspondence. No
more of this willy nilly letter dropping. It's not like we write in
cursive anymore, we type. To continue to omit consonants and vowels is
just plain lazy. Embrace the double L. Also, per your letter of offer, "administrative assistant" is a common noun and not
capitalized unless it is used as a title and only in certain instances.
I have much to teach you.
I know, right? Look at me being a self starter.
Did you know your third sentence is a series of business "buzz" words that mean absolutely nothing? This is a job description, not a contest to see how much asinine jargon can fit in one sentence. You're supposed to provide details in a job description, that's why it's called a description. Also, there is clearly a typo in the salary, otherwise, how do you explain a salary range spanning $26,400 based on shift length?
The rest of your email is equally flawed. I won't point out every wrong thing you've written, I don't have that much time.
Here are the highlights:
If it is a work-from-home position, obviously there is no need to relocate. Your saying so is redundant. One could even go so far as to say dumb.
"Ease of use of keyboard and computer programs, including Microsoft and Windows based programs." You do realize Windows is Microsoft? That I am writing this on a computer?
What does "ease of use of" mean in your technically-illiterate world?
"Ability to work in a fast paced environment..." It's still a work from home position. The environment is home, it is the work activities that may be fast paced. You made the same mistake when you said "exciting environment".
While your abysmal writing skills are an issue, your biggest error is recruiting off a purchased/ pirated email list. That's what those lowlife fraudsters that trick naive individuals into performing phony Western Union drops and cheque deposit schemes do. Same for those lying dirt bags who extract money out of people with the promise of a job that never comes.
Those people are parasitic spamming scum that should be banned from the internet forever.
I trust you will find my email resourceful and enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I look forward to hearing from you shortly so we can discuss this position, and your inadequacies as an HR manager in greater detail.
Sincerely,
Your dear good friend
I have much to teach you.
I know, right? Look at me being a self starter.
Did you know your third sentence is a series of business "buzz" words that mean absolutely nothing? This is a job description, not a contest to see how much asinine jargon can fit in one sentence. You're supposed to provide details in a job description, that's why it's called a description. Also, there is clearly a typo in the salary, otherwise, how do you explain a salary range spanning $26,400 based on shift length?
The rest of your email is equally flawed. I won't point out every wrong thing you've written, I don't have that much time.
Here are the highlights:
If it is a work-from-home position, obviously there is no need to relocate. Your saying so is redundant. One could even go so far as to say dumb.
"Ease of use of keyboard and computer programs, including Microsoft and Windows based programs." You do realize Windows is Microsoft? That I am writing this on a computer?
What does "ease of use of" mean in your technically-illiterate world?
"Ability to work in a fast paced environment..." It's still a work from home position. The environment is home, it is the work activities that may be fast paced. You made the same mistake when you said "exciting environment".
While your abysmal writing skills are an issue, your biggest error is recruiting off a purchased/ pirated email list. That's what those lowlife fraudsters that trick naive individuals into performing phony Western Union drops and cheque deposit schemes do. Same for those lying dirt bags who extract money out of people with the promise of a job that never comes.
Those people are parasitic spamming scum that should be banned from the internet forever.
I trust you will find my email resourceful and enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I look forward to hearing from you shortly so we can discuss this position, and your inadequacies as an HR manager in greater detail.
Sincerely,
Your dear good friend
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